Threatened by the Psychic


The other evening I was happily walking the streets of Manhattan when my eye was caught by a psychic sign. The lady was sitting in the window, on the phone, and waved at me. Why not? I am open to everything these days. I only consulted a psychic once before, 2 years ago in New York, only a few streets away from where I was standing then.

My first psychic experience was nice and funny, because I was with α and C and we put all our small change together to gather the $5 which we had negotiated for a “face reading”. This psychic had a real kindness in her expression, I still remember her gentle eyes. She told me that I was going to live a very long life. I always think of that now when I am in plane turbulence and I am afraid of crashing. So I decided to give psychism another chance.

This time, the lady read my palm for $15. Again, first thing that came up was that I had a very long life ahead of me and that I was an old soul (I hear that all the time).

Then she asked me direct questions about my job and what I was doing in New York. She jumped right away to my love situation, which I didn’t even bring myself because I have no questions at that level. I know where I stand.

But Psychic became all intense about it and said that I really needed spiritual work because that’s it: I am blessed in my professional life but I have bad luck in love. She wanted to charge me $300 to remove the bad eye and “unblock my sex chakra”, otherwise I am going to wander in love limbo for the rest of my life. No kidding.

It is impressive when someone stabs her eyes in yours and says word for word: “You have bad luck in love.”

I was shaken for an instant as years of being persuaded that I am indeed cursed in love came back to the surface.  I immediately figured out that Psychic was obviously all about my cash and that her previous questions about my job situation, promotion and business trips were just there to evaluate my income. When I declined her offer, she became all hyper and aggressive and said she had to meditate for me all night with candles and asked how much money I could put in my chakra cleaning. I said: “None. I am broke.” She almost shouted at me in a threatening manner: “Don’t lie to me. I SEE, you know. You work in corporate and you are getting a promotion soon.” Ouch. How the f*** are you supposed to lie to a psychic, even a bad one?

She desperately tried to flog me some crystals and other charms for $20. I said that I didn’t have $20. She replied: ‘It is not true, I saw a $20 bill in your wallet.’ From that point I understood the hilariousness of the situation. As I elegantly turned down all her offers she finally gave up on me and was like: “OK. Good luck” in a disdainful tone that meant “you have a shit life ahead of you”.

I walked out and questioned everything for a minute.  I suddenly took the conscious decision not to let anyone ruin my New York style faith in life. It is the easiest thing in the world to get into the love crack and exploit people’s fear of being alone. Fear of loneliness must the the biggest potential human market out there. Bad news for Psychic, I am not afraid of being alone and I don’t believe for a second that I have any kind of bad luck.

I burst into laugh on the street and headed off to 5 Rhythms dance to sweat my prayers as if nothing happened.

I don’t care. I will flirt, fuck and dance until someone has the guts to see beyond my skin again.

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