I sing karaoke only in America (almost).

My last US karaoke night was in Roswell (Aliens Town) with H. Everybody in the room hated us. We sang our heart out and there was a deadly silence at the end of our songs. Only one lady clapped her hands and H pointed her out and said: “This lady liked it!”, which she probably got excommunicated from Alien town for. It is punishable there to show support to two blonde girls in a California Jeep. We left town after our masterful flop and we screamed in the car for hours in the middle on the night.

I went singing again in Queens on Thursday with α, α² and α⁴.

I Total Eclipse of the Heart-ed it with α (our eternal hit), Depeche Mode-d it with α² – it was fun singing to him “You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees”. I was going to Lady Gaga it with α⁴ but we left.

My only issue is that ALL Americans have singing voices, so even the average bar on a week day has competition standards. Therefore I have 2 rules: 1/ Never sing alone 2/Shake your hair a lot, they will forget about the rest.

There was a very weird girl who turned up alone in a duffle coat, winter hat and sunglasses, which she didn’t take off all night. We all thought she was a celebrity trying to live the life of the simple people, so we expected a masterpiece performance. She wasn’t a famous singer for sure, unless she was purposely disastrous not to be recognized. Her gestures were also very unusual. Who moves like that? She was quite something. We all instantly became very big fans so we were disappointed to miss her last number.  But we had to leave.

After strange karaoke night, I had one of the best dreams of my life. I was in a magical ranch with α and we were cuddling white horses. Suddenly a white horse passed by very fast outside the window. I had time to see its horn. It was very small, so not everyone could see it unless they had magical eyes. I was overexcitingly telling α: ‘Oh my God! I’ve just seen a unicorn!’ Unicorns is our favourite discussion topic, we aim to discover where they live some day. Then, I saw a second unicorn with tiny horn too, so I understood we were in the Land of Unicorns. And finally I saw a pink horse.

New York makes me sweat glitter in my sleep.